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All posts for the month April, 2018

Buh-Bye (Facebook)

Published April 30, 2018 by lynn k scott

I have made the decision to inactivate my Facebook account.  While I have made some amazing friends and have a dozen (or so) friends from church on my page, the ultra-liberalism and negativity of Facebook has become overwhelming.

My life is extremely chaotic and full of serious issues that I have no choice but to deal with.  From dealing with my own cancer diagnosis, my sister’s cancer diagnosis, and some legal issues my a couple of my sons are dealing with, Facebook doesn’t offer the support I need.

I did trial runs, if you will, by shutting off the account for a week or even just a weekend.  I proved to myself, I didn’t need that social platform.  True friends have multiple ways to keep in touch with me.  I started posting more to InstaGram.  I still can see pics of my friends and their children.  I can get spiritual memes from K-Love radio as well.

In my opinion, Facebook has grown too big for it’s britches and I can’t in good conscious support that particular platform any longer.  I have more time for my family and friends, in real life; not online.  It also allows me for more writing here and focusing on what’s important in my life.

I appreciate those who continue to follow me on this crazy journey.  There is definitely more to come….just bear with me.

“Lights Shine Bright”

Published April 30, 2018 by lynn k scott

I know this music isn’t super new, but to me it is.  I’m having fun discovering new, contemporary, Christian music.  I was “introduced” to Toby Mac when my daughter attended a Christian school.

Growing up in the United Methodist Church, we sung the typical hymns.  It wasn’t until my daughter attended the school was I introduced to some amazing Christian songs.  I recently stumbled upon “Lights Shine Bright“, by Toby Mac.  This song has such an uplifting beat and a great message.  I have added meeting Toby Mac to my bucket list.  Gotta have dreams; right?

I admit, I’m currently “song obsessing” on “Lights Shine Bright”; so much so my daughter has asked me to pick another song to listen to.  NOPE!  LOL

Music has affected every aspect of my life.  It holds my memories, controls my moods, reminds me of those who care about me and reaffirms my faith.  From Rock ‘n Roll, to Country, to R&B to Christian, music keeps me grounded.

Lately, I primarily listen to Christian music and I love it.  There are so many artists that share their gift of music.  I plan on sharing more of the (Christian) songs that I am currently enjoying.

Disclaimer:  I do not own any rights to the songs and/or videos.   I am sharing them for entertainment purposes only.

IF Table

Published April 22, 2018 by lynn k scott

Yesterday, I attended my first IF Table. It’s a small group meeting through church. A friend actually invited me to go with her. I don’t attend her church, but it’s nice to get together with other women of faith. I wasn’t sure what I was getting into, but I wanted to see my friend and figured this couldn’t hurt.

The IF Table has some cards with questions on them. They provide discussion opportunities for those who attend. While, this group was new to me, the concept wasn’t; as I attend a small group at my church and we have a similar setup.

While I didn’t share, and actually broke down into tears at one point, it was a really nice time. I listened to the other women and their responses, which surprisingly, provided comfort.

The group meets once a month. Depending on my work schedule, I’d like to attend again. In May, I will be working seven days a week, as I was able to pick up a part-time job. I won’t be working both jobs forever, but as donations are down to a trickle, I need the extra income. So, until I have been “cured” of cancer or it kills me, I’ll be busy instead of idle. I need this second job to help keep me busy and focused.

I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and if you’re invited out or you feel like exploring, please join a small group. The small groups allow you to connect and grow in your faith.

I hope everyone has a blessed week.

Air Fryer XL

Published April 20, 2018 by lynn k scott

A few weeks ago, I treated myself to an air fryer.  I have been wanting one for over a year.  Kohl’s was having them on sale.  I received an additional 30% off by using my Kohl’s card and even received $10 in Kohl’s cash.  When all was said and done, I purchased this beauty at a great deal!    air fryer

I have used it a few times now and have yet to be disappointed.

If you follow my blog, you know I am a devoted mom to my now 12-year old daughter and my husband is Filipino.  That being said, I make sure my daughter understands her heritage, even though she is American.

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Last night, she learned the art of rolling lumpia.

Now, she had me cracking up; had to tell you.  She is methodical in her “rolling”.  There was a distinct difference in our technique.  My looked like traditional lumpia rolls.  Hers…well, they looked like perfectly little packages.  They were a tad flatter and looked exactly like a perfect package.  It was ADORABLE.  She was so proud of herself (as was I).

 20180419_190001.jpg   She’ll improve her technique.  Yet, we had another cooking bonding moment.  As homeschoolers, life skills are at the top of the list.  It’s great to have knowledge of history, able to do math, know some science, etc., but if she can’t function on her own, then I failed as a parent.  I do not have to worry where cooking is concerned.

As my daughter got into her rolling groove, she would start humming.  I’ve caught her doing this before.  She is very content in the kitchen, even if she says she wants to be a vet and take care of animals.  It’s nice to see her so relaxed when she’s preparing food whether it’s for herself or for a family dinner.

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Now, as far as the air fryer goes it makes perfect lumpia!  No frying, but all the crispy goodness that should be there when you bite into the perfect little roll.  I cook mine in a single layer (about 6 or 7 at a time).  I set the machine to 390 degrees and each batch took 10 minutes to cook.  I would flip each lumpia at the halfway mark.  You will need to cook in batches, but they are very hot when they come out of the air fryer, so they will still be warm when you go to eat them.

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Anyone who’s ever fried lumpia on the stove knows your house smells of cooked oil for days after making batch after batch of lumpia.  Using the air fryer, you only smell your food.  Not to mention, how much healthier this option is.  You lose nothing by using the air fryer over traditional oil.  Well, maybe you’ll lose a few pounds…but that’s a good thing, right?

Like Children

Published April 20, 2018 by lynn k scott

Reblogged from SkippingStones.blog.

Skipping Stones

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew‬ ‭18:1-3‬ ‭ESV‬‬).

What is it about children that provides a model for us to emulate to make salvation attainable? What is the common denominator, found in all children regardless of their social, economic, or family status, that is so profound that it provides us with a roadmap to a successful Christian life?

The answer to that question doesn’t require the space of a book to explain it. It doesn’t even need the space of a blog, paragraph, sentence, or phrase. It can be identified with one word. Trust.

Trust is very similar to faith

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Cancer Journey: Part 13

Published April 20, 2018 by lynn k scott

I logged in to post another update.  I realized my last update was still in the “draft” stage.  I could have sworn I posted it.  Oh well, it’s up now, so there will be back to back posts for you to read.

As you may have noticed, I have changed the Featured Image because my fundraising link contains my sister’s battle too.  I’m sending her current donations as she is still out of work from her surgery.  Chemo has yet to start for her, but I’m know she’ll have more expenses when that starts.

As for me, my latest oncology referral was rejected.  The insurance allowed me to see someone in their network, but she’s technically not in my network.  Only problem, they neglected to find out her specialty and she only treats breast cancer patients.  Lovely, another oncologist referral bites the dust.

The nurse at my current oncologist knows I want to transfer and I know my oncologist wants the same.  Her suggestion?  Seeing the other female doctor in the same practice.  Ummm….NO!  I didn’t tell her I want a native English-speaking doctor.  I shouldn’t have to figure out what the doctor said because I can’t understand her.  This new doctor isn’t a native English-speaker either.  Not to mention, I know doctors speak to each other, especially in the same practice, and I can’t guarantee quality treatment because of this.

I have no option but to stay with the same provider.  I have asked for my CT scan just to be scheduled as I can’t do so with a new doctor; which was the plan.  I had to tell them the reason I told them of my sister’s cancer was not for sympathy, so I could get scanned for breast cancer too.  I really shouldn’t have to point that out.  They are in the cancer business.  It’s their job to know that if two sisters have/had the same strain of cancer, then I am at greater risk.

Has my scan been requested yet?  Nope!  After all, why should they have a sense of urgency?  Their life isn’t hanging in the balance.

I know my cancer updates aren’t cheery.  They are filled with sarcasm and are a bit jaded.  This is reality.  The medical world has lost its empathy.  Those facing life-threatening diseases aren’t supposed to be angry.  We’re not allowed emotions.  We’re supposed to blindly follow whatever our medical “professional” says.  WRONG!  I’m now fighting back and I’m not just talking about the cancer.

I have been researching alkaline diets.  Shocking to those who know me, but I’ve even cut back on my coffee.  I’ve switched half my intake to green tea instead.  I will never give up my coffee, but I know changes are needed.   Except for today, I my diet has been at least 70% alkaline foods.  I plan on continuing this path.  Oncologists don’t want to hear there are homeopathic options.  Why?  Because they would lose stock money that Big Pharma pays them to push their poison.  Sorry….I digress.

In addition to learning my sister had cancer, another tragedy has struck my family.  I will not go into details.  However, I will ask for every prayer you can spare.  It’s a horrible situation.  I have inactivated my FaceBook account and have no plans of reactivating it any time soon.  People are ruthless and forget they are condemning someone without facts, knowledge of the incident or that family reads the same thing they do.  That’s all I’m going to say.

I’ve been praying daily for myself, my sister, my family, guidance and countless other issues.  There’s a purpose to all this.  I just wish the reasoning would manifest sooner than later.

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Cancer Journey: Part 12

Published April 20, 2018 by lynn k scott

My oncologist was nice enough to respond to a message I sent her office yesterday with, “what happened to the oncologist we referred you to”?   While I am not a fan of this doctor, there are literally no other doctors in the area that won’t cause me to lose at least half a day, if not a whole day from work, for each appointment.  She might as well have asked, “why are still part of my practice”?

Seems cancer wasn’t done messing with my life.  The other day, I received a message from my youngest sister’s best friend.  She found me through Facebook and sent me a private message.  I haven’t spoken to my sister in over four years.  Seems my sister was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer.  It’s the same strain that took my other sister’s life.  The same sister this page honors (or tries to).

I’m not sure where our relationship is headed.  I was beyond hurt by her actions several years ago and firmly believe she was in the wrong.  I may not have been right, but I wasn’t allowed to see if I was or not.

That being said, we exchanged some messages.  She learned of my cancer.  I never told anyone who wasn’t in my life.  I didn’t want pity and I didn’t want them to care out of obligation.  I’m lucky I didn’t wear make up when I found out, because I did shed some tears.

I then thought I still have a chance of still getting breast cancer.  Having done battle with my current diagnosis, I’m not sure I could handle another one.  Then, my thoughts moved to that of my 12-year old daughter and granddaughter.  They would need to be tested in their 20s because of the family history.  I pray a cure is found before that needs to happen.  Am I holding my breath for that to happen?  Absolutely not.  I know cancer is a money maker for Big Pharma and the doctors who treat it.  They don’t want a cure because then they will lose billions of dollars with their poisonous drugs; all in the name of “treatment”.

While I keep saying I’m going to drink, I probably won’t.  Don’t need a hangover and try to get up for work.  I’m emotionally numb to this latest cancer revelation.   On the flip side, I have no tolerance for the medical world now.  I am done being nice.  I will not be placated.  I advised my oncologist’s office of my sister’s diagnosis.  Silly me thought they would know ‘kid gloves’ were now needed in dealing with me.  They are truly clueless.

As my youngest daughter has dubbed me, “NY Mommy” when I deal with anyone in the medical profession, I have chosen to embrace that term.  I no longer feel obligated to put up with medical nonsense.  I am in charge.  They either will understand this the easy way, or they will kick me out of the practice because they chose the hard way.  At this point in my life, I really don’t care either way.

I realize this isn’t Christ-like behavior.  However, I’m so overwhelmed lately, this is all I can manage.  I pray for grace and the ability to handle this situation better.  If it comes to pass, then it’s His will.  Til then, NY Mommy is in the house!

This is the reality of a cancer patient.  Pretty ribbons are nice, they have meaning, but it’s not the true showing of what cancer patients go through.  That’s what these blog posts are about.

I’m still adding my fundraiser link because I have still have expensive testing/scans that need to take place.  Any monies above that, I will donate to my sister because she’s feeling the crushing expenses of having a cancer diagnosis.

Cancer Journey: Part 11

Published April 6, 2018 by lynn k scott

It’s been a while since I’ve updated.  I haven’t been able to bring myself to do so.  I’m at the end of my treatment; or so I’m told.  I have 3 days left of meds and I won’t be taking them.  I’m OVER IT!

I’m over people asking me what I’ve done to my hands.  Depending on the person, I just say it’s a medication side effect or my chemo meds did this.  Funny, doctors couldn’t be bothered to tell me how my hands and feet would dry out.  How my skin would peel off in strips (off my feet).  How my hands would crack, bust open and make using my using my hands a luxury.  Can’t even open a bag of dog treats when my fingers have sores on them.  You truly have no idea how much you use your thumbs; until you can’t!

I’m tired of “that look” people give me.  They know I have cancer but the pity look sucks.  I haven’t changed but am now seen as my disease and not the person I was.  I’ve cancelled my upcoming oncology appointment.   Why go?  For her to ask me the same questions she’s asked for the last 6 months?  For her now to tell me to come back in 3 months?  For me to remain in limbo if the cancer is still there or if the poison of chemo actually worked?  I’d rather not waste my time or what little money I have left. I’ll go next month, if I feel up to it.

I have testing that still has to be done and I just don’t want to do it.  Let’s not mention I can’t afford it.  Sutter Health Plus is a joke of insurance.  There are no native-English speaking, female oncologists in my area.  If the insurance is offered for my area, I should have the ability to see a doctor who makes me feel somewhat comfortable.  I should be able to understand her.  I shouldn’t have to discuss very intimate details with a male doctor.  I can waste time traveling over 30-90 minutes away from my home, just to receive the proper care I should already be getting.

I have learned the medical profession has no empathy.  They see cancer patients, day in and day out.  It’s their routine.  They don’t live our lives or suffer our side effects.  A few looks of pity from nurses; maybe.  Doctors just don’t care.  They have a bunch of patients to see and you’re just one of them.

I am angry.  I know the medication has played a role in this.  My emotions are all over the map and I can’t keep them in check.  I have given in to the anger and just want to be left alone.  I have been here before.  It’s a scary place and hard to leave.  I’m pushing people away.  I have deactivated Facebook; for now.  I just don’t want to interact with anyone.

I am creating a bucket list.  I doubt any of it will ever happen. It’s truly the only thing I look forward to; regardless if the items are mostly pipe dreams.  I just continue to work, day in and day out, as if nothing is wrong with me.  I have taken one, half-day, since I started chemo.  The rest of the time, I have been at work.

I continue to pray and I know people are praying for me too.  Right now, it’s not any comfort.  So, it’s just another day in the life, of the average cancer patient.  So, I still exist, but I can’t say I’m living.

 

Treatment Fundraiser

 

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