“Every human being must find his own way to cope with severe loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he chooses.” (Caleb Carr)
“Surround yourself with the right people, and realize your own worth. Honestly, there are enough bad people out there in the world – you don’t need to be your own worst enemy.” (Lucy Hale)
“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.” (Bruce Lee)
Today is a day of remembrance (for me anyway)
1) 3 years ago today was Father’s Day. It was the day we had Kathi’s funeral.
2) 22 years ago today, my neighbor (he was my age) was killed because a truck didn’t see his motorcycle. It happened to be my 3rd wedding anniversary. He was the closest person I had to a brother. As he died at 21 years old, he would become one of my sons namesakes. R.I.P. Brian.
3) 25 years ago, I didn’t realize I was marrying Satan’s spawn (1st marriage). I wish hell would reclaim its heir and leave me the hell alone! (If you knew my story, you’d understand this one better).
“A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.” (Isadora James)
Today marks the third anniversary of my sister losing her breast cancer battle. I apologize for not keeping up the blog. This week has been a bit intense. I have been consumed with canning and preparing fresh meals.
I realized yesterday, I deal with Kathi’s passing differently as the years go by. The first year, I just cried. I kept reading old emails and texts from her. Last year I remembered her through the music she enjoyed. This year, it was canning and cooking. I’ve only been canning a little over three years now. One of the last conversations Kathi and I had, before the cancer took a turn for the worse, was how she was going to start canning in the summer. I had sent some of the apple butter, I had canned, back home. She never made it to summer.
This week, I have been obsessed with canning and preparing everything fresh. Not sure why it didn’t hit me before last night. I rarely can during the week. Sometimes, I will process a batch of vegetable stock on a Monday. I’ve made and canned apricot jam and vegetable stock this week. Last night I cooked black beans and made a mayo-free coleslaw.
I have purchased potatoes, jalapeno and serrano peppers and blueberries. I will be making potato salad and some jelly and preserves before the weekend is out. It’s almost a compulsion to get these things accomplished. I now know it’s me keeping busy. I know it’s how I’m coping.
Just long for the day I don’t have survivor’s guilt that I outlived my younger sister. I long for the day where the sadness isn’t all consuming. I know there’s no limit on grief. I know it gets a little easier as time passes. I know my life has been profoundly changed with her passing.
As today is my sister’s angelversary, I’m attaching my team Relay for Life link. Together we can end cancer. Together we can stop cancer so there are no more angelversaries because of this horrible disease.
Follow us on Facebook: Team – I’m Going To Love You Through It
Today marks one week until my sister’s third angel-versary of losing her breast cancer battle. One thing, of many, that I will always remind me of my sister, is her love of the United States of America.
After listening to Madison Rising’s version of the “Star Spangled Banner”, another video about the our National Anthem started playing. I continued to listen to it because I liked the way it was presented. I liked it so much, I will incorporate it into my daughter’s history lesson next year.
While I realize there are few inaccuracies in this story, it gives the general idea of how the song came to be. It symbolized an important time in American history. Strangely, it provided comfort. It reminded me of Kathi and her patriotic spirit.
The video is just under 12 minutes long. Enjoy the story and our history. Remember, the next time you hear our National Anthem, please stop what you are doing, remove your hat, stand, place your hand over your heart and remain silent until the song is completed.
I for one, am proud to be an American.
This is a conversation I had with my little miss this afternoon.
Lil Miss: Mom? Do you want to know what I heard recently?
Me: Ok, sure.
Lil Miss: When a person gets older, they have a lot of wisdom to share with the younger generation.
Me: *nodding my head* You’re right.
Lil Miss: *donning a Cheshire grin* So, you’re old. What wisdom do you have for me?
Me: You were waiting for that weren’t you? Just had to get an “old” joke in didn’t you?
Lil Miss: *beaming with pride and smiling ear to ear* YUP!!!
I closed my eyes and shook my head. It’s sad how often I walk into these conversations. I used to be sharper than that.
I quit pooing about six weeks ago. Ok, ok, so “pooing” is short for shampooing. I have read quite a bit about not using shampoo. In my ever-increasing need to lessen the amount of chemicals used in my home, I gave up buying and using shampoo (and conditioner).
Depending what information you choose to believe, it definitely took more than two weeks for my hair to get passed the greasy, slick, “take a shower, will ya?” phase. I can say it took a good month before my hair finally stopped freaking out over the fact that I wasn’t lathering up every other day.
If you have long hair, I highly recommend braiding it and no one will ever know you and your hair are on a new quest. If you’re like me, and not a fan of hats, you get a really cute A-line cut, and tuck those locks behind your ear. I admit it, my hair looked like I had a fight with the hair gel and the gel won.
When I first decided to stop “pooing”, I was going to use the baking soda method. I can honestly say, it made my hair a bit brittle. Then I happened on some homemade soap, all-natural and chemical free. I really like it and used that for about three weeks. Recently, I found Dr. Bonner’s Castile bar soap. So far, I’m very pleased with the results the soap has had on my hair. I like the soap has essential oils, is part of fair-trade, chemical free and GMO-free.
If you are up for a challenge, might I suggest you stop “pooing” too? Be prepared for a good 2-6 week hair transition, but you will enjoy the freedom of not being dependent on chemical shampoos. Should you require a conditioner, simply put a little coconut oil on your fingertips and massage through your hair (but not the roots).